RETIREMENT - a boon or a bane?

Retirement – is it a boon or a bane? – has been debated for decades. It depends. For some, it is a boon, a time to relax and engage in leisure activities that one always wanted to but did not have the time. But for others, it is a dreaded time for they have not planned for retirement and have no clue as to what they would be doing. They presume a loss of respect and importance in the family and friend’s circle. And a few would fall in between too!

 

Retirement, as it is currently understood, is a recent phenomenon. For most of history, people worked until they dropped. Even today in many of the western countries, there is no retirement age per se. People work late into their 70’s. With increased longevity due to better medical care and lifestyle, this appears to be logical. However, in countries like India, retirement age is fixed and even though one may be willing to work or be productive, one has to retire. This being the reality, how does one prepare for retirement, how does one spend time during retirement and how does one lead a meaningful and purposeful life even after retirement are some of the questions that need an answer.

 

Retirement planning seems to be the buzz word these days. Can one really plan for retirement? The emphatic answer is YES. After all, it is not a sudden event thrust upon us but one that is certain even when we take up a job. Perhaps when one is young, one does not give much thought to it as one is busy with family, work, promotion, social life et al., However, it is important to focus on a few aspects relating to retirement even when one is young. These aspects are health, financial planning and having an engaging hobby. The first 2 are absolutely necessary and third one makes life interesting when one retires. Even if one were not to have a hobby, one needs to start cultivating one at least 5 years prior to retirement so that one can relax and engage in such activities during retirement. Some people choose to continue with their career, albeit in a different avatar. That is fine too, but it cannot be at the cost of health and family. Of course, one may be compelled owing to financial constraints but that has to be more of an exception than the rule, is what one would recommend. 

Retirement planning is being marketed as something that has been discovered recently. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Our ancient Indian scriptures talk about “Ashrama Dharma” – the recommended stages of life of a human being. They are:

§  Brahmacharya – Life of a student – Learn and be ready to make a living

§  Grihastha – Life of a householder – earn, have a family and enjoy the worldly pleasures

§  Vanaprastha – Life of retirement – moving to a forest figuratively – to contemplate on the nature of man, world and God and gradually withdraw from worldly activities

§  Sannyasa – Life completely dedicated to the attainment of Moksha or liberation – the modern equivalent of it being a self-actualized person  

So, as we can see, retirement is equated to the third stage of the Ashrama Dharma prescribed since ancient times.  Hence planning is a must.

Medical science has advanced so much that we have eliminated most of the bacterial and other infectious diseases. Longevity has increased. However, lifestyle disease has grown manifold and is the number 1 cause of death today. Hence it is important that one starts exercising early in one’s life. This habit, if pursued regularly, during the working days, will keep one in good stead during retirement. A pleasant walk or a jog in the morning or a gentle yoga exercise with friends of the same age is not only beneficial physically but also helps one a build resilience and a sense of equanimity. The more energetic and intrepid can try other adventure sports like hiking, marathon runs, cycling etc., Many of the seniors today are engaging in these activities and it adds to their physical and mental wellbeing without a doubt.

The next most important aspect for retirement planning is financial planning. In today’s world, needs are constantly increasing. The returns are abysmally low from bank deposits and inflation is constantly eating into the savings. Hence, it is important to start saving for one’s retirement right from day one when one enters a job. Many financial products are available today (unlike in the past) which helps one build a corpus that one can live out of in the evening of life. This becomes paramount considering the longevity of today’s seniors. Medical Insurance is a must and the earlier one plans, the better. Dependence on children needs to be avoided, as far as possible, to lead a satisfied and happy retired life with self-esteem intact.

 

The third aspect of retirement, assuming one is not taking up a part-time or full-time assignment is, how does one spend time? This is a crucial question that needs some planning and thinking well upfront before one retires. There are several hobbies that one can choose including but not limited to, reading, writing, singing, gardening, handwork, engaging in spiritual activities, volunteering with NGOs to teach, volunteer in hospitals to support the medical staff, work with organisation like Lions or Rotary etc., There is a wide variety of choice and sky is the limit. Of course, apart from interest, one needs to take care of oneself and one’s family FIRST. Charity, after all, begins at home! One can also engage in voluntary work in one’s area of expertise offering consulting to youngsters and NGOs.

 

This is where living in a senior community, a concept that is catching up in India, is very beneficial. We live with people of the same age group, all our basic needs including food, medical, security and other routine support needs are taken care of. Care homes also add to the repertoire of services to cater to those who need such assisted living. One is free to engage in leisure activities, fun activities, build new relationships, learn from other’s experience and be a source of strength and support to others in the community. One’s psychological well-being is also very important at this age and living in a community like this provides that cushion and ambience to rediscover ourselves. It is a blessing in today’s urban madness where one is left by the wayside in the mad rush in a state of loneliness and melancholy. The phenomenal growth of such communities’ bear testimony to the success of this concept.

 

Some of the key learnings from experience of retired folks can be summarized as under:

§  Live in your own place and enjoy your independence and privacy

§  Hold on to your assets / deposits to yourself / spouse till your life time. Prepare a WILL if necessary.

§  Don’t depend on your children’s promise to take care of you in old age; their priorities change. Expecting gratitude from them is a recipe for disaster.

§  Don’t meddle with the life of your children. Let them live theirs not yours. Remember the following beautiful verse from “The Prophet” of Khalil Gibran:

“Your children are not your children;

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself;

They come through you, but not from you;

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you!”

§  Expand your circle of friends especially to those who will outlive you.

§  Don’t compare; expect nothing from others

§  Don’t use old age as an excuse to demand attention, care and respect.

§  Listen to all but take a decision independently

§  Don’t impose yourself on anyone on any subject

§  Do not expect everyone to follow your opinion even though you feel that your opinion was the best

§  Don’t complain about your health, neighbours, your retirement, your woes all the time

§  Don’t brag about your past achievements; no one is interested. And for heaven’s sake do not repeat the same story again!

§  Do not give unsolicited opinion all the time; no one wants it.

§  Do not try to help unless asked for; Just be ready and be available.

§  Never try to teach anyone anything, unless asked for.

§  Do not fall behind in time; understand new technologies, constantly study something new – a new skill, a new dish, a new indoor game perhaps.

§  Preserve your dignity and integrity in any situation till the end.

§  “Blame others for all your problems, your education has not begun; blame yourself for all your problems, your education is half done; blame no one for all your problems, your education is complete” goes a proverb. Don’t blame yourself for whatever happened to your life or to your children’s lives; you did everything you could.

§  And whether you believe in GOD or not, there is a higher power that decides our destiny. Trust that power and live joyfully till the maker sends you his final call!

 It is the stage in life when we look back on our accomplishments with satisfaction. There might be regrets, but they might be far and few. A sense of fulfillment and satisfaction pervades. Eric Erickson, the psychologist calls this a stage of “Integrity” – a stage of reflection when the pace of life slows down. People feel genuine satisfaction looking back on their achievements. They feel fulfilled. They are definitely happy notwithstanding all problems that may besiege them from time to time.  

Bertrand Russell one of the greatest thinkers of modern times talks also about such happiness very eloquently in his book “The conquest of Happiness” as follows:

 

“The happy man is the man who does not suffer from either of these two failures of unity, whose personality is neither divided against itself nor pitted against the world. Such a man feels himself a citizen of the universe, enjoying freely the spectacle it offers and the joys that it affords, untroubled by the thought of death because he feels himself not really separate from those who will come after him. It is in such profound instinctive union with the stream of life that the greatest joy is to be found”.

With such profound thoughts in the background, we need to go through life, whatever is left of it, enjoying the spectacle it offers always believing that the Universe is unfolding as it should. 

Retirement or “Re-Tyre”-ment – the choice is yours!