6 Questions that can change your life

Many of us get to a point in our lives where we have played by the rules and done everything we were supposed to do, but still don’t feel happy or satisfied – so what now? How do we claim for ourselves lives of invigorating passion and purpose when we feel trapped or dragged down by the vestiges of lives we have already committed to?

The following 6 six questions will help you to uncover your own personal vision of the life you were meant to live.

Sl #	The Right Question	The Wrong Question
	Who am I?	Who should I be?
	Why am I here?	What do I want?
	Where do I belong?	What is my position?
	Whom do I love?	What do I own?
	Who loves me?	What am I worth?
	How can I be true to myself?	How can I gain approval?

If some of these questions seem difficult to answer, give yourself a few days to reflect on it. Remember – these questions may seem simple, but they strike very close to our souls and may take some time and courage, to answer. There is no need to hurry or pressure yourself. Your vision will be there when you are ready to uncover it.

Who am I?

The answer to this question lies in discovering (perhaps rediscovering) the talents, temperaments and traits that make up our core personalities. Some of us may have lost touch with the people we are at our core as a consequence of powerful external influences, such as others expectations for us. It is only after we have some sense of who we are that we can begin to assess whether the lifestyle we are living is really a good fit for us. Without of this sense of who we are, we remain vulnerable to outside influences – to trying to be who others believe we should be. For example is the real, inner you an introvert or an extrovert, spontaneous or playful, aggressive or compromising?

Why am I here?

It is possible for our journey through life to be guided by two very different kinds of motivation. On the one hand, we can be guided by continually asking ourselves what do I want? This outlook on life drives us outward, making us vulnerable to the influence of sophisticated marketing and advertising technologies. It also usually leaves us feeling only temporary satisfaction, for this question continually invites us to want what is new. A life devoted to the pursuit of what we want can easily turn us into careening pinballs, constantly changing direction under the influence of external forces. In contrast, when we seek an answer to why am I here?  We are moved to look within ourselves for the answer. We are more likely to discover there an answer - and a path – that can sustain us over time. What, do you sense, is your purpose of being here?

Where do I belong?

One way to define our place in the world is through the position we hold in some social, professional or economic hierarchy. From this perspective, our sense of who we are becomes a matter of comparison, like first-class, second-class, third-class passengers sailing on the ship of life. Viewed through this psychological lens, life is essentially a competitive process, one that renders us vulnerable to jealously and envy. On the other hand, seeking to find an answer to where do I belong? moves us away from defining ourselves and our place in the world exclusively through comparisons with others. Whereas knowing our position may give us some sense of importance (particularly if that position is high in some hierarchy), it is no substitute for the comfort and security that comes from knowing what feels like home to us. Look around you. And answer the question: is this where you belong? Where might  “home” be for you?

Whom do I love?

It is part of our human nature to become attached to things. But if we allow this perspective to dominate our lives, we end up defining ourselves exclusively in terms of our possessions. When that happens, who we are becomes blurred with the question what do I own? This kind of imbalance happens all too early in our materialistic culture. To offset or balance this, and to create more balance in our lives, we need to look into our hearts for an answer to the question whom do I love? When we know that, we put ourselves in a better position to make choices that serve our best selves instead of being influenced by an urge to preserve what we own. The great stories of this world are full of examples of men and women who chose love over property and possessions, and in doing so found happiness.

Who loves me?

In our society, it can be tempting to base our self-esteem entirely on our resumes. Most of us learn to ask ourselves what am I worth? to measure our value to others. But if we allow this view to be dominant, it leads to an identity built purely on foundations of achievement and performance. Emotionally and spiritually, this approach can leave us feeling hollow and unfulfilled. To balance our self-esteem, we need to devote ourselves equally to being open to the love of others and to measuring our worth not only by our accomplishments, but in terms of who loves us and why?

How can I be true to myself?

The answers we have written to the questions above will dictate our success with the sixth question. Once we know the answers to the first five questions, we have the basis, the raw data we need to begin forming our visions. The sixth question draws upon our character, giving us the strength we need to stay true to ourselves, either in the face of disapproval from those we love or from our own self doubts.

After working with the first five questions, many people find that the images of their “real” selves are starting to come together, but may be a bit shaky at first. This is precisely when character is most needed – to protect the seed of that vision until it is strong enough to reveal itself. If we turn away from all that we have learned, we are only betraying ourselves. While it is natural to want reassurance and approval, the sixth question keeps us accountable to our own visions. Think about the traits and tendencies you have learned about – how can you recognize and avoid your own traps? How can you keep derailing from you own vision?

 

This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

 

Hamlet – William Shakespeare

 

Extracted from the book “The six questions that can CHANGE your life” by Joseph Nowinski PhD

Are YOU Future Proof?

The year that went by was cataclysmic. The pandemic has devoured over 2 million lives and infected over 83 million people around the world. This is by far the biggest crisis we have seen, perhaps, since World War II or the Great Depression. 24 million students are out of school and 400 million jobs are lost so far. All continents are hit by recession and around 100,000 businesses are closed permanently in the US alone! Some of the well-known brands like J C Penny have gone bankrupt. Unemployment is at its highest since world war II. The economic cost of all this is estimated to be around 16 trillion dollars! (India’s GDP is 2.6 trillion). Did anyone see all this coming?  

In such a dynamic and kaleidoscopic world, is it possible to future proof? My answer would be a YES and NO. NO, because I am not an Alvin Toffler to predict a Future Shock! YES, because some of the core skills like positive attitude, inter-personal skills etc., keep you in good stead even in the worst of times. So, it would be good idea that today’s youth who are in College or the youngsters who have embarked on their careers prepare themselves to face the unfolding challenges and uncertainties by future proofing themselves to the extent possible.   

In a way, those who are in college are all privileged because they are one of the rare few in India who will have a college degree. As per data in 2016, only 27% of the top 10% earners in India have even a college degree, forget Engineering. And it is worse, when you consider the world population. If you take 100 as the world population, only 7 have university education! So, when the current crop of graduates starts their life after completing their degree, they would have a head start over thousands of others.

How do we future proof? The most important thing to do during the next 2-3 years, of course, besides graduating from chosen disciplines, is to prepare yourself to face the challenges of the world. College and home are relatively safe and stable environments whereas once you embark on your career a lot more responsibilities and expectations are placed on you. So, the aim during the next 2-3 years should be to utilize this time and prepare well for these unknown challenges. These are some thoughts based on current situation and past experience.

In order to prepare, we need to know 2 things. They are:

1.    The context in which we will operate – the work environment

2.    What capabilities we need to build in order to sustain, grow and be a productive member of the organisation and therefore the society where we live

Discussing a few key areas will be in order.

The world, as we know, is changing dramatically. Who would have thought a few months ago that everyone would be working from home or all learning will happen online due to this pandemic? So, we need to be aware of the known drivers of change and be prepared for these unfolding and at times unexpected changes:

1.    Rise of Smart Machines and Systems – Technology is augmenting and extending our own capabilities. Workplace automation is killing repetitive jobs. Driverless cars are not a fantasy anymore. Recently I saw a video where an Indian American is controlling a drone by his hand gestures – it is as if he was performing some magic!

2.    It is a computational world now. The increase in sensors and processing makes the world a programmable system. IOT, AI, Deep learning etc., combined with the data will give us the ability to see things on a scale that was never possible before. Technology is changing so fast that it is hard to keep up with the changes! Every individual has to be a computer literate to survive in this world!

3.    New Media Ecology has arrived. Every organisation is going digital. New communication tools need media literacies beyond text. Visual communication media has become the new tool for communication, even among the illiterate masses and is a very powerful medium. Who would have thought about a year ago that there would be online classes or that we would be attending a local wedding on the ubiquitous “zoom?”

4.    The era of super structured organisations is there to stay. You may still come to work in Chennai or Bengaluru, but you will be collaborating with a team member in New Zealand for a Client in Brazil! It is a globally connected world. It is a global supply chain too. Diversity and adaptability are mandatory to not only survive but grow beyond our backyard. So, your thinking has to move from being local to Global. Relationship building and inter-personal skills assumes great significance.

 It must be understood that once we step into an organisation and a changing world as indicated above, we will not be individuals but part of a team and therefore, an organisation. Some of these skills are absolutely essential to grow and succeed, irrespective of the times we live in.   

1.    We are living in a world which pays a premium for knowledge. Do not confine yourself to your syllabus alone. Read books, magazines, journals and enhance your knowledge in contemporary topics. For example, in Software, your syllabus may not cover data analytics or Deep Learning. Ensure that you spend time to know these areas. This is a continuous process lasting a lifetime. Wherever feasible, engage in real projects with hands-on experience in your spare time. This enhances your skills and marketability.

2.    Communication is the key to success in any field. So, improve your communication skills. English is the most widely spoken and used language. So, hone your skills. Read newspapers, talk to each other in English in your college, attend coaching classes, if required. This skill empowers you and differentiates you from the next person. A good communicator wins always! Do not have inhibition about accent or fluency. You can develop it over a period of time. Develop basic writing skills, especially Email etiquettes.  

3.    Practice open, honest and effective exchange of information. Good communication does not mean a flowery language but one that helps you communicate ideas effectively. Simple language is always understood and appreciated. 

4.    The world is ever changing and in a dynamic fashion that none of us anticipated. A person, in today’s context, is deemed intelligent, if he adapts to change. Be an intelligent person and adapt to change and evolve. Go along with the flow without resisting it. Be flexible and assimilate change. Else you will fall by the wayside.

5.    As stated earlier, you will be working in a multicultural / global environment. Hence it is important to appreciate this and understand different cultures and embrace nuances of different cultures. This is one of the most challenging tasks that you need to work on. There are a number of books on the way different cultures work, manage time, communicate etc., For example, our concept of time is very laid back. If a wedding reception is announced at 7 pm, invariably it starts around 8 pm! This is not acceptable in many cultures. You need to be aware and adapt. There is no superior or inferior culture. Know that each culture is different. Adapt effectively without any inhibition.

6.    As you will be working in teams, building relationships is a skill that you need to develop. You need to bring cohesiveness by being committed to the team and its goals. This can be practiced in your college being committed to your projects and courses. Collaboration is the key. It needs to be demonstrated as well. Inter-personal skill is one of the most prized possessions that will take you very far wherever you work. Not many can boast of this skill though many claim it on paper.

7.    Whatever you choose to do, be passionate about it. Passion is all about following your heart and doing what comes to you naturally. Introspect and identify and develop your passion. Learn to be innovative and creative. Those are the people for whom the industry pays a premium!

8.    Time is the scarcest resource anyone can have. Do the important and not only the urgent things. Develop planning and time management skills. These will keep you in good stead in the ever-demanding corporate world.

9.    Continuous learning is the norm today. Be mentally prepared to learn continuously over your career span and beyond. There is no substitute for this trait to help you be ahead of the rest. I know of people who retired 10 years ago, still attending webinars and seminars!  

10.  Zig Ziglar says, “Attitude determines your Altitude!” A Harvard study found that 85% of the reason why a person gets a job, keeps a job and moves ahead is because of his ATTITUDE. Only 15% is due to his specific skills. So, develop a healthy attitude to learning, job, workplace and life in general. A positive attitude coupled with hard work is a definite recipe for success.

 Do you know why women wear Diamond jewelry? It is because diamonds are rare. If they were common, no one will wear them. Just imagine – there has been NO ONE like each one of you over 5 billion years of Earth’s existence and there will be NO ONE in future also. That is why they take your finger prints for everything. You are not only rare but UNIQUE in creation. You are talented and YOU are the only person on earth who can use your ability! The onus is on you to identify, prepare and use this unique gift of GOD for your benefit and for the benefit of humanity. Enjoy your life and be a source of happiness to others too.

All the best!  A very HAPPY NEW YEAR!